Five Years Trying to Win the Flower Show Vegetable Animal Class

Five Years Trying to Win the Flower Show Vegetable Animal Class


Highly Commended: a large baking potato –

   its shape already reminiscent of the humpback whale –

   set on a plate, surrounded by cabbage

   shredded from the centre of the head

   where its waves are tightest.

   Eyes for a blowhole, and also for eyes.


Highly Commended: a crocodile

   in cucumber, a sliced out wedge

   for a gaping mouth, radish teeth and feet,

   and winding down its curving spine,

   a double crest of battlements, contrived

   from cocktail sticks and arrow-heads of swede.


Highly Commended: a glossy purple eggplant

   as the body of a bird of paradise,

   wings from tiers of rocket, mint and carrot tops,

   comb from sprouting mustard seed and dill.

   Beak a nutshell, tongue a nut,

   side-dish of summer fruits, its song.


Third Place: the coconut gorilla.

   A corn dolly armature whose stooky thighs

   and sloping head are covered

   in the cracked off shells of coconuts,

   the pile of the coconut fibres

   precisely a match for the nap of gorilla pelt.


Highly Commended: an aquarium of fish.  

   Goldfish, guppies and angelfish whittled

   from melons, peaches and artichokes.

   Highly skilled engraving suggests drift and flurry,

   fins and scales. A year’s work wasted on the system

   which blows bubbles fat as berries from their mouths.



One thought on “Five Years Trying to Win the Flower Show Vegetable Animal Class

  1. juliabird April 12, 2008 / 7:49 pm

    … I used to live in a town which had an annual flower show – competitions for big leeks, floofy chrysanthemums etc. I don’t remember entering this actual class, but I did win fourth prize in the cheese straws category one year. The poem was published in Tim Wells’ Rising magazine.

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